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英汉笑话大全!!!

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11#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-7-1 22:34:53 | 只看该作者
Mr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, "There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?"
琼斯夫妇晚上很少出门,但上星期六,琼斯太太对丈夫说:"电影院今晚有场好电影,我们去看好吗?
" Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.
琼斯先生很乐意,于是他们就去了。两个人都喜欢那部电影。
They came out of the cinema at 11 o'clock, got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark. Then Mrs. Jones said, "Look, Bill. A woman's running along the road very fast, and a man's running after her. Can you see them?"
晚上十一点,他们从电影院出来,钻进汽车,开始驾车回家。天很黑。这时,琼斯太太说:"看,比尔。一个女人在沿街狂奔,一个男人在后猛追不舍。你看到了吗?"
Mr. Jones said, "Yes, I can." He drove the car slowly near the woman and said to her, "Can we help you?"
琼斯先生说:"是的,看到了。"他慢慢把车开近那女人,说道:"你需要帮忙吗?"
"No, thank you," the woman said, but she did not stop running. "My husband and I always run home after the cinema, and the last one washes the dishes at home!"
"不,谢谢,"女人答道,但她没有放慢速度,"我丈夫跟我在看完电影后,经常跑步回家,后到家的洗碗涮碟。"
12#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-7-1 22:35:27 | 只看该作者
Once I had achieved success as an entertainer, I wanted to impress my Mom. I brought her to Las Vegas for dinner at Caesar's Palace. Among other items, the menu listed "Twin Lobsters - $45."
我当演员取得成功后,想在妈妈面前炫耀一番。于是,我带着她到拉斯维加斯的凯撒宫去吃饭。在菜谱中有道菜是"孪生龙虾--45美元。"
"Why don't you order that, Mom?" I asked. "I know how much you like lobster."
"你为什么不点那个呢,妈? "我问道:"我知道你很喜欢吃龙虾了。
" She looked at me with the eyes of a skeptic and shook her head. "How do they know they're really twins?"
她满眼狐疑地看着我,然后摇了摇头。"他们怎么知道它们确实是孪生的呢?"
13#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-7-1 22:36:14 | 只看该作者
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时,我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣,但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
我指出这本书保存状况颇好,纳什是个有趣的诗人,这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终,我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋,拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。"零钱不用找了。"他说。
14#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-7-1 22:36:57 | 只看该作者
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
那天是圣诞节,法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。"你为什么而被起诉?"他问。
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "
采购圣诞节物品过早。"被告答。
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"这不算犯法,"法官回答,"你购物多早?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
在商店开门之前,"犯人应道。
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